It’s almost Spring and that means one thing – I’m itching to bust out of my shell, out of my skin, and tear some stuff up, so to speak. Last night I stayed up compulsively buying, downloading, listening to and obsessing over new music. I have been listening to an artist off and on for about a year now and recently (within the last 4 months,) my enjoyment of this artist has turned into a full fledged, pedal to the metal, heart thumping, pulse throbbing, dance until you sweat adoration fever of epic proportions. It is quite the experience to be swept up off your feet and suddenly all consumed with the music and the man and everything that goes with it. It’s like falling in love.
As I listened to this music (and sort of stalked the artist on twitter) last night, I wondered what was getting triggered. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was tapping into that part of me that has always made me feel the most alive. I started asking around on twitter and facebook – what makes you feel ALIVE? I got answers like playing orchestral music, playing with my dog, loving someone, peaceful meditation, going on vacation. My answers are slightly different: I like loud music, fast cars and motorcycles, long haired bad boys and whiskey, cowboy boots, campfires and skinny dipping, high heels and lipgloss, good friends and great tonails, beer and bonfires. And my “rock star asanas”** : tittibasana, sirsasana, hanumanasana, galavasana, astavakrasana, eka pada koundinyasana, chatturanga pushups and the like. Not that it matters that my answers were a little different. It’s not the answers themselves that are important, I don’t think.
I’m learning that Ganga White was right when he said that it’s not so much important that you get answers to your questions but that you question your answers. Meaning: don’t settle. Don’t just blindly accept. Search. Seek. Look. Ask. It would be very easy for me to write on this blog and tell you that I feel most alive when I’m meditating in silence or when I’m doing laps on my mala, or when I’m kissing my beloved children goodnight. While I do love all of those things and I often feel most content while doing them, saying that I feel most alive when doing them would be a total lie. I feel most alive when I’m tearing it up, knockin’ em down, and raising hell and high water. Fortunately for me, I have figured out how to do that on the mat as well as off the mat. I can, be it at 6 am or 11:30 at night, find that same sense of LIFE of INVIGORATION of PASSION and PROMISE and ENERGY and BRINGITONRIGHTNOWI’MREADY when I need to, be it at 6 am or 11:30 at night.
At the end of winter, baby, let me tell you: I REALLY NEED to find that sense of being alive.
What makes you come alive (Frampton reference, anyone?) When do you feel the most electrified, the most empowered, the most invigorated and vigorous? Do you love it? Can you do it more often? What would your world look like if you did? What makes you say YES and AMEN?
It’s time. Take a breath, take a change, and live out loud!
**Now, don’t go getting all bent out of shape. I know there’s a lot of controversy over “rock star yogis” the days. Enough. I get it. I don’t mean that I’m a rock star because I can do these asanas. I just mean that, while doing them, I FEEL like a rock star in my own mind: alive, dancing my arse off in a party for myself, flying high and higher and feeling no pain.